Long before discovering Waldorf, I’ve always found that keeping a schedule everyday kept me happy, focused and not overwhelmed. Only I’m far too creative of a person to be following a regimented schedule. I simply looked at what needed to be done each day, and tackled it in the order/way that I felt most inspired.

Only until I started to look into curriculum for Sophie that I realized that what I was doing each day was following my daily rhythm.

Rhythms keep your home running harmoniously and I feel is an absolute must for having the home run smoothly with children. It is very easy to be knocked from your rhythm, which has been certainly true for me the past few months. Between the lazy, hazy days of summer, summer travel, and then a few changes on the home front and health issues that lead to digestive issues for both Sophie & I, and then exhaustion due to lack of sleep (cranky baby again due to losing our rhythm – there is a rhythm to sleep as well that I will blog about later), daily chores and tasks and even things we enjoyed doing got totally tossed out the window. I started staring at the pile of junk on the kitchen table, the rugs that needed vacuuming, and the cat barf in the corner, and just was unmotivated. I didn’t want to deal with it. Too much other things going on, and the more chaotic the home got, the less productive I got. I couldn’t think anymore, even to sit down with a cup of nettle tea and enjoying reading posts on my Yahoo groups. The cats even stopped sitting in their favourite places around the house because THEY even thought it was too cluttered. I was overwhelmed. I would get the floors swept and then had no energy to tackle anything else. We’ve all been there once and again…

So I realized that I needed a plan. Here’s what I did to help get motivated again and back into a daily rhythm.

1. I got myself well, and gave myself permission to take time off.
I was sleep deprived, among other things. I needed to rejuvenate my body. I needed rest and time to work on my health and just to be there for Sophie while she went through this developmental stage. I needed to concentrate on the whole family getting sleep again. I gave myself permission to stop feeling guilty that the house was a mess and that the best thing was to recuperate. Once my energy was back I could tackle the chores in double time. The whole family saw the Naturopathic Doctor and started taking steps to become optimally healthy again.

2. I wrote down all that had to be done.
It seems like an unending list of things to be done. But when you actually sit down and write it down and break it into sections (work, housework room by room, chores, correspondence, etc) it seems far more manageable.

3. I started a day planner again.
Before Sophie was born, I faithfully kept a day planner. Even this most mundane of task, I wrote down. There is something so satisfying about checking something off your to-do list even if it only took two minutes to complete. The past year, I decided to forgo the day planner since infant Sophie was my main focus. I decided to wing it. Looking back, that was a mistake. Slowly, things crept up and got completely out of control. It took many months, but I realize the past 12 months I had been struggling to keep things organized and I blamed it on being a new mom. I was pleased to pick up “Mom’s Family Day Planner” by Sandra Boynton. I adore her as an artist and her children’s books are hysterical (if I had of found Waldorf before hand, I probably wouldn’t have bought the children’s books, to be honest. But I do appreciate her as a cartoonist). The calendar is September to September. Although Sophie is not in school yet I still consider September the fresh start to a new year, plus it’s her birthday month, so it’s perfect. Since starting it Sept 1st I have been flying through my chores, work and have had time to myself. I go to bed at night now feeling accomplished and not let down.

4. I incorporated Sophie in the chores again.
Since I started chores after the 6 week post-partum period, I have always included Sophie. I wore her in the sling, and as she got older would lay her on a blanket to watch me work as I made up songs to go along with the chore or just simply talked to her to tell her what I was doing. I used to find it nice to have company while I worked at the housework – it seems less boring when a three month old is absolutely fascinated with you scrubbing the toilet! Since things have gotten out of control here, I got into the habit of cleaning while she napped. The problem with that is, I never got any time for myself! I was either cleaning or looking after the baby. Plus I really think it’s important to include the children in chores very early on so they are less resistant to participate when they are older. Kids like to help, and can make a game out of cleaning. I don’t believe in keeping the children preoccupied just so that you can get things done. Incorporating them into your day, since they are part of the family, always made more sense to me. The tools of housekeeping are invaluable lessons they will have with them for life. It certainly is lost skills these days it seems. So now Sophie toddles about the room I am cleaning, and I talk or sing to her. Sometimes she likes to watch, sometimes I’ll give her objects to hold to make her feel included. For example, when cleaning the bathroom, a paper towel roll with the last bits of paper towel left clinging to it is one of her favourite things. She will see me ripping pieces of paper towel off the roll so this is her way of helping by doing the same thing. She’ll even offer me bits of paper towel she has ripped off as help. It is very cute.

By the way – we are a virtually chemical free home. Meaning I do not clean with harsh cleaners, may times I make my own household cleaners with essential oils incorporated in. I could never include Sophie in my cleaning if I was using toxic chemicals. It’s noxious enough for adults to breathe in, let alone babies.

5. I changed up my cleaning routine to something that appealed to me more.
I thought long and hard as to how I would get the most satisfaction out of my cleaning. I realized if by the end of the day one room in the house was completely spic & span, that would be all the motivation I would need to continue the next day. So instead of making a chore list each day by type of chore, I assigned one room (or area, as our house is open concept) per day to be tidied. The bonus is some rooms need very little attention, so that gives me the chance to tackle extra projects (like hanging or hemming new curtains), get a head’s start on the next day’s chores OR simply just be finished chores early for the day and relax. I hate Mondays, and find it really hard to get going. Therefore I assigned the easiest room of all for that day: Sophie’s room, which is being used as a den right now where she plays as she sleeps in our room. It simply needs toys picked up, a quick sweep/mop and dusting. I also do laundry on Mondays, a chore I like to do thanks to our fabulous washer & dryer.

7. I assigned tasks to another family member
Rick already takes care of meals & the kitchen counter/dishes already, which I am very lucky for. If there is something on a certain day that I am having trouble tackling (like getting the shower stall cleaned or bringing the heavy plants indoors) I ask him to do it. Since he works all week I will let him complete these tasks on the weekend. He is more than willing to help so long as he know what is to be done.

6. I made time to do things I like.
So many times as moms we over look the things we love to do. But if we don’t have our own unwinding time there is no way you can achieve a harmonious balance in the home. You will find that after a certain hour you cannot reach us by phone. Usually that is anytime after 5pm. We have our dinner, after dinner Sophie has quiet time in her room to play while I read a book, then bedtime. I simply find talking on the phone in the evening ramps me up when I should be winding down. Instead I prefer to write or “chat” online which is far more calming for me. Usually jewelry making is my “zen” but I am currently working on my website in the work category, and I don’t want to lose focus from that. So I like to spend at least an hour in the evening writing – usually blogging! I find doing something that actually uses your brain in far more relaxing than just staring at a TV blankly for a couple of hours.

Also, I like to read while Sophie plays. She’s still too little to play unsupervised, I need to be in the room with her close by, but I see this as unwinding time rather than trying to get chores done or emailing on the laptop. I think it’s also important for her to see a calm, yet present Mommy. I see the importance of independent play, but i am still there if she wants to play a game of peek-a-boo or to show me one of her toys.

7. I made sleep a priority
Even though I am a night owl, I force myself to bed no later than 10pm at night. Sophie is up as early as 5:30am, and she does wake at least a couple of times at night. I usually don’t have to get up with her now, but I still have to talk softly to her and soothe her back into sleep. Going to bed early assures I will have lots of energy to go the next day. I’m also less grumpy and a lot more pleasant to be around! Still, if I need it, because I had a particularly challenging night with the baby, I simply nap when she naps. Why does that have to end just because she’s not a newborn? When everyone in the house is well rested, the whole house hums with harmony.

8. I allow myself to be flexible.
Having a bad day, not feeling good, or just on a whim feel like working on something completely new project wise, I gave enough flexibility in my schedule each day so that things could be shifted around to other days without it being overwhelming.

After just a few days with my new game plan, the rhythm was flowing nicely, I got to concentrate on Sophie’s sleep and things are humming quite smoothly again.

I hope this inspires you to find your own rhythm, no matter what your lifestyle is. I’m not suggesting you should do it my way; every one is different and so is the harmony of each home. But hopefully seeing that I can get organized & back on track will encourage you if ever you get into a daily rut.

What will
our children do in the morning?
Will they wake with their hearts wanting to play,
the way wings
should?

Will they have dreamed the needed flights and gathered
the strength from the planets that all men and women need to balance
the wonderful charms of
the earth

so that her power and beauty does not make us forget our own?

I know all about the ways of the heart – how it wants to be alive.

Love so needs to love
that it will endure almost anything, even abuse,
just to flicker for a moment. But the sky’s mouth is kind,
its song will never hurt you, for I
sing those words.

What will our children do in the morning
if they do not see us
fly?

~ Rumi ~ 13th Century Poet

She’s got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I’d probably break down and cry

Oh, sweet child o’ mine
Oh, sweet love of mine

She’s got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I’d hide
And pray for the thunder and the rain
To quietly pass me by

Oh, sweet child o’ mine
Oh, sweet love of mine…

~ Guns N’ Roses

Well, it is official. It is exactly one week until I turn 30! I am filled with nothing more but a sense of happiness & relief. I cannot wait to kiss the tumultuous 20′s goodbye. Don’t get me wrong, I cherish every experience I’ve had the last 10 years, good or bad. Yes, even the bad. Because I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today without those experiences. So thank you. Thank you depression for making me see that there is a healthier way to live. Thank you rumours for showing that I can rise above, even thank you for those people who have intentionally hurt me. Thank you, because you can’t have good without the bad. Even the very bad will eventually lead to the very good.

Although, the old adage “God only gives you what you can handle” is true. I don’t think I could handle the death of someone close to me, for example. So universe, don’t get any bright ideas. I am not *that* far advanced here spiritually, really!

It’s been hard to shake old habits learned from childhood. I found growing up it was natural for the community to go to the negative; bitch about the weather, jobs, gov’t, your neighbors etc. The worst lesson I learned was don’t get too comfortable when things are good because bad is just around the corner. I learned to not get too happy or comfortable because something bad was going to happen to have it all come crashing down. And something bad always did happen. Of course! Self-fulfilling prophecy! I had it so ingrained, I will even find myself to this day start to go there, wonder what the bad is that’s going to happen because life is so, so good. Luckily I recognize this and catch it early. I consider thoughts like this nothing more than clutter that needs to be removed so that the energy can flow better. I do it in my home when the clutter builds up and I do it in my head.

There is something so fresh about starting at the beginning of a decade. I can remember turning 20, feeling like, 30 was sooooo far away. It is slightly shocking how fast things have gone by that is for sure. Turning 20 I was quite mature & responsible for my age, but I can remember how awkward I felt. I just felt so inadequate and ill-equipped to function in the business world. In a way I am still ill-equipped, if business is sitting in a cubicle plugged into a phone for 8 hours! Forget it! ;)

Rick and I have definitely carved our own way. I know there are still those doubters out there. How do we do it…we do it because we do it. We don’t wish we could, because we do. We put a dream forth and fulfill it. There really is no big planning. It is actually more spontaneous than it appears. We didn’t plan to have a baby when we did. We planned to have a baby 6 months later than we did. Surprise! Everything comes at you at the right time. Those curve balls keep you on your toes but when life becomes stagnant and predictable it becomes mundane and pointless. It is then, that things start to go wrong. It is your very harsh wake up call.

Change is hard, but oh so necessary. Sometimes the transition happens easier than others. You are really in control at how easy the transition goes. My transition into to motherhood so far has been smooth. I have no expectations, I simply parent with the respect that I feel all living things deserve.

Yes, I welcome this new chapter in my life. Come what may, 40 will be better than 30, I just know it!

Last Tuesday, I had the headache to end all headaches. It has been many years since I have been so affected by a headache. Still on my gratitude journey, I am thankful it was not a migraine. It was a very bad tension headache due to stress on my neck from carrying the ever growing Miss Sophie, using the computer, etc. Sleep just made the pain & nausea worse as I could not get into a position to relieve the pinched nerve (or whatever it was) in my neck. The nausea and hot flashes that accompanied it reminded me of what I experienced when I was giving birth! “Okay, I thought. It’s not as bad as that. There are no contractions. I can handle this”. Still, when you are feeling that miserable you don’t care. You don’t care that it is not childbirth, you just want it to be over so life can go back to normal. My dear little baby was laying there on the bathroom mat with me sobbing beside her in pain. She gave a big grin as if to say, “I’m sorry Mommy. Please feel better!”. She is an extremely sensitive person, because she was very easy on me that day. As they say Virgos are.

When the pain passes and a new day dawns, there is a renewal like no other. I come to understand why we experience pain from time to time. It makes life all the more sweeter once you emerge from the suffering. No one wants to suffer, nor would I wish that on anyone, I am simply looking on the positive rather than saying the whole day was wasted thanks to the darn headache. Obviously I was somewhat out of rhythm or I wouldn’t have gotten a headache in the first place. Your body will make you slow down, one way or another…whether you are working too much, poisoning it with terrible “food”, or just doing too much (like pushing my body with housework & computer work when I should be saving my strength for the one thing that matters: holding Sophie!). Or perhaps I became too complacent with day to day? I think this journey of gratitude I seem to be on is trying to push me, to challenge me.

Last Wednesday, I felt like a new person. Sophie and I went for our first walk this spring, and we hope to get out again today since the sun and warmth had departed from us for a short while. Today is gloriously sunny, and Thursday is supposed to be 20 degrees (that’s celsius. I know my US pals are going…that’s not warm)! That means it will be at least 3 degrees warmer here, as we find that is the case.

Going through the rough patches, makes us try harder, live louder & laugh more. I often think about childbirth, drug free. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know I will always push harder and never give up on the things that seem too difficult when it comes to parenting because I experienced that.

Today, there is supposed to be a decision on the Brenda Martin case. My pain certainly does not compare to hers. I know I will be thinking, praying, hoping for a good outcome. I want to trust in the goodness of the universe through adversity, but man, is it ever hard to not become cynical. But I must not, lest it take my light away. I am trying to make it shine bright for me and to others. I hope my light touches you today.

We spent this sunny yet cold day at Mass, then off to NDG for Easter pig out at the Handinero’s. They sent us home with leftovers, which ended up being dinner. *groan*…Filipinos+holiday+get together=PIG OUT!!!

Sophie, as cute as she is, is going through a shy stage. So she spent the afternoon crying off and on, particularly at the men. There were two Filipino ladies there that are nannies (bad stereotype, but it is TRUE! Filipinos are the most loving, nurturing group of people I have EVER met!) so they scooped up Sophie, so I could eat. They were the only two other people who could hold her without a fuss!

This egg, was painted by my dear friend and co-worker, Robbie. She gave it to me as a Christmas gift a couple of years ago. This Christmas, I decided to give it a permanent place so I could enjoy it year round. I thought it would be appropriate to share these photos for Easter. Miss you, Robbie! Especially our laughs in our back office at Tourism! :) Honeymoon Suite: Extra person $25. Ha ha ha (or the uninhibited Islands…my bad…hee hee).

It feels so wrong for it to be this cold & Easter! The last time it was ever this early was 1913! We will never see it this early again in our lifetime. Thank goodness; Easter usually falls around my birthday in April, so I can take advantage of long weekend birthday celebrations. Hee hee…

By Friday last week, Sophie was peeing on cue; and I have Rock as a witness to prove I am not crazy! Say, pipi sssssssssssssssssss….. and low and behold, pee in the potty. If I know she has to poo (don’t ask me how I know, it’s one part observing her past elimination habits and one part intuition), I say poo-poo and voila! I even find myself feeling like I need to pee, so I put her on the potty and she goes (it turns out I really didn’t she did). She is waking up from naps with a totally dry cloth diaper, and pees in the pot when she wakes up. I have only had to launder cloth diapers once in the past week and we usually do them once every 2-3 days.

It’s not always perfect. Today I couldn’t seem to tune into her elimination, as I have a headache. Distractions always fog the practice, but I still caught all the poos, which is really what I care about. Esp. as she starts to eat solid foods…those are NASTY diapers to change, and then to launder as well. :)

Today we did really good…catching 7 pees & 3 poos in the potty! She is also peeing on cue, which is amazing considering we have only really been doing this since Monday (peeing on cue is saying a cue word followed by a sound, we do the common “pipi” and then ssssss sound). We’ve always embraced the diaper free philosophy, but I’ve never really felt comfortable to put her on the potty; the few times I tried she was so little it frightened her. So did holding her over the toilet or sink. So I’ve just been letting her go bare bottomed when possible & using the cue when she would go on a flat prefold, or just changing her right away so that she would not get used to sitting around in a soiled diaper). We’ve been doing this since the day she came home.

Last weekend I just wanted to sit her on the potties (we also have the baby bjorn big potty, some babies like the “throne” potty better) and she really didn’t like the big one, but the little one now fits her perfectly. We LOVE potty time! One of the moms in my EC group recommended having her look at herself in the mirror, which definitely keeps her entertained. When she is fussy, putting her on the potty has worked every time. By the second day, she was peeing and/or pooing on the potty each time I took her.

So long as she is enjoying herself, I will keep it up. I’ve already seen a significant decrease in diaper output. I’d like to say amazing, but really it’s a natural need to have our most intimate place clean & dry!

If you have seen Austin Powers, you are giggling right now. If you are childless, you are probably rolling your eyes.

As Sophie awoke this morning at her usual 7am, I had three choices, as I do every morning: I could a) get up (which I admit rarely happens) b) let her play beside us and keep sleeping until she gets loud enough with her playful squeals & limb movements (read: kicking) to wake me and then either get up or c) nurse her back to sleep. Only, this morning, she poo’d so I had no choice but to get up. And then I went back to bed. :)

Today I realized that it is the little things that make life enjoyable. Sure, I’ve always known that, a mantra I try to live by. But once in awhile I need to be reminded. I have the luxury of spending a lot of quality time with my daughter; a lot of people can’t say that. But like most I can also fall into the rut of going through the motions. I find myself reading her books, playing, etc., but still anticipating the next nap so that I can have some “me” time. I felt horrible last night as I felt so impatient with her as she took awhile to settle. Yesterday I did not have much time to myself; and I was drained.

So when I went back to bed this morning, because I just needed some extra sleep, wasn’t I shocked and delighted that Sophie fell back to sleep too, only waking at 9:45 to nurse again! Then at 10am I shook her gently and said, “time to get up!” Those big bright eyes threw open followed by the biggest grin.

She sat patiently in her Bumbo chair while I cleaned the bathroom and swept/mopped the floor. (She is fascinated by floor sweeping and loading/unloading the dishwasher). She did not get upset when I vacuumed the rugs. She just sat there in the distance, fascinated with this loud thing I kept pushing back and forth. In fact, I quit cleaning way before she ever got tired watching me clean.

So when nap time came around again this afternoon, my thoughts were turned to “okay, get her to go to sleep; I have more housework, jewelry to design, a website to design, email to catch up on…posts for the blog”. I happened to be laying down to nurse her, as she fell asleep. I was ready to put her in her hammock, but I stopped. She was so peaceful, with this calm, contented look on her face as she snuggled up against me. It then occurred to me why she was so hard to settle yesterday. I simply wasn’t present in the moment with her, and she was picking up on my absent mindedness. So I took off my glasses, and fell asleep with her. What a glorious nap; the nap to top all naps.

The beauty of babies, is that they force you to slow down, take them in and enjoy. I reminded myself that I said when she was born if I got nothing done in the first year of her life, it mattered not, because she got “done” and that’s what matters, above all else. :)

The key to a good Dr’s appt. is to get the 1st appt. of the day, or close to it. We used to try for the last appt. of the day but towards the end of my pregnancy that wasn’t working out; we found the back log from earlier in the day had us at the office until 7 at night.

Sophie’s Dr’s appts. have all been in the AM and I intend to keep them that way. In fact, I snagged the first appt. of the day for her upcoming 6 month appt. Woo hoo…that means no wait which is great since she HATES the doctor’s office. Do you blame her? She has to get naked in this cold, sterile room. I said to Rick, we should really donate some mobiles and some colourful posters for the peds rooms. They have a few things but it is still pretty blah. My normally happy, cooperative baby was not so happy and cooperative.

But, she is healthy and we dodged the vaccine bullet yet again. Perle just gave us this all-knowing “okaaay….” She thinks we will drive ourselves nuts with worry if we don’t go ahead and vaccinate her right away. On the contrary, she was really groggy/sleepy when we got home today and if she had of gotten a booster shot I would have been poking her awake making sure she wasn’t going into some reaction-based coma. No, she is very healthy, resilient and strong. Hard pressed to convince me to make her sick with several viruses at once to her tiny body. And if the only reason not to wait and do it is because we will become worry worts, well, that’s just not a good enough reason. If the plague was sweeping through Montréal, that would be a different story.

Still, we have an appt. with our Naturopathic Dr. next week. I assume we will start her on the constitutional hydrotherapy to boost her immune system, plus I need to pick up my holistic “drug store” for when shit happens. I already have belladonna here for when she gets a fever, but I need to get camomilla (the wonder homeopathic Rivka gave me when I was in labour when I started to FREAK out…) as I know she has started teething. She is drooling all over and biting her toys, and at times is fussy when being nursed or just because. When you have a non-fussy baby, you really notice when she is fussy, something is definitely going on. Plus anything else Anne-Hélène recommends to have on hand. I know I want her to show me the hot cloth/cold cloth technique for fever. I don’t believe in suppressing a fever, it’s there for a reason (of course if it gets out of control, we will go to the ER. Duh.). Anyway, that is one Dr’s appt. we look forward to.

My little peanut ain’t so little anymore. ;) She weights 6kilos…that’s a little more than 13lbs! Zubeita (nurse) was impressed! That puts her in the 50th percentile rather than the lower percentile, a HUGE jump. Just two months ago she weighed 8-9 lbs, just a 2 lb jump from birth. She is solid and very strong. Yep, powered by breast milk, as I say. Perle thought that was hilarious.

I was so nice to see Dr. Feldman again, she is like my Jewish mama. I gave her a hug and she gave me a kiss on the cheek, she is just so hugable and so nurturing.

So, it’s time to retire the 0-3 month clothing. I got an extra month out of them, so I can’t complain. I can’t help but feel very proud and a little sad about it though. She’s not a newborn anymore, and if this is any indication about how fast time flies, she will be independent before I know it!