My oldest turns 4 very soon, so I know the question is eminent: Will she be going to preschool?

I chuckle thinking about the colorful ways I could answer this question. But the truth is, my children – ALL CHILDREN – have been learning since the day they were born. I read Rahima Baldwin Dancy’s “You Are Your Child’s First Teacher” when my oldest was about 2, and it truly resonated with me. I can’t recommend this book enough to parents!

I take issues with a lot of the terms that are out there in regards to homelearning. Probably because to me, they are labels rather than descriptions of truth. It’s hard for most people to grasp that children learn naturally from birth whether they are enroled in formal education or not. We choose to not have our children partake in pre-school or even pre-pre-school (honestly I cannot believe this concept even exists) so it seems that we must prepare an answer as to how our children are learning & developing. Say you are “homeschooling” and certain stereotypes come to mind. I don’t much like the negative connotation to the term “unschooling” either although there are many aspects of this philosophy that appeal to me. Take away the immediate stereotypes of homeschooling, such as we must be religious, or over bearing worry warts, hippies, or radical non-conformists (all meaning: your children will be weird, damaged and unsocialized), and you have to deal with answering to what philosophy/curriculum do you teach with. Classical? Waldorf? Montessori? Eclectic/Unschooling? Then let’s not forget the age of my children – I resent even having to answer to these questions considering they don’t even legally need to be enrolled in “school” until the age of 6! Seems absurd to even say I “homeschool” my kids. Yet to say we “plan to homeschool” is a half truth in itself. Technically what we do in our home is child-led home based learning. I can see doing the same type of activities with my children now and 5+ years from now. The subjects and perhaps the substance may change but the overall goal – that we as humans have the passion within our souls to learn and grow throughout our whole life, and that passion should be nurtured at one’s own pace – is still there.

I am a “deschooler” at heart. Upon learning of this term, I realized that I have been doing just that since I myself left formal learning (college) in 1997. So although we love to observe rhythm and breathing in/out activities in a Waldorf sense, many days we simply let our muses be our guides and do what we want on a whim. One thing I have learned, if I am bored or feel overly structured, my kids don’t have much fun or interest, either. I am also lucky that both our jobs allow us to pick up and leave and do just what our hearts desire at any minute. Working from home works for us, because it may mean putting in a full day in the evening once the girls are off to sleep, but we got to spend the day as a family at the Ecomuseum or to travel across the border to the US for shopping.

We draw much of our inspiration from Kristie Burns’ Earthschooling, but it isn’t our only source. What appeals to me about the preschool and kindergarten curriculum (what we have used thus far) is that it has many ideas for activities throughout the day that respects rhythm in a Waldorf inspired sense but does not limit you to using it step by step. For example I recently arranged the activities for both Pre-school & Kindergarten from August to December in notebooks. I refer to them for inspiration, never feeling limited to, “okay this is for August only”. Sure some of the material is seasonally themed, but even then, they can be adapted and changed for the season we are currently in. If I am inspired, I will go with it…because I know if I want to do it, my children will too.

Many days this past month when I am tired we simply sit around reading books, playing with dough, drawing with crayons and otherwise not having any semblance of “rhythm”. Yet to me we are observing rhythm as we are slowing down and listening to our bodies – what feels right.

And yet, despite many days of no structure, my children are learning. My two year old talks in complete sentences, and I chulckle at the fact they both can say the word, “homeopathic”. ;) My 2 year old knows her name starts with the letter “A”, she can distinguish colors, “What do you think of this dress, Ava?”, “I like it, it’s purple!” she responds. She also loves animals, mostly of the barnyard variety and can tell you all about them. My soon-to-be four year old is all about colors, shapes and teaching herself the letters of the alphabet. I see every day their inquisitive minds grow and it’s always a joy to hear one of them say enthusiastically “That would be FUN!” when I suggest something we could do, and then seeing just how much they took away from the activity – far more than just being entertained. I should add that this is all accomplished without the use of TV. “Treehouse” for example is actually blocked in our house, and if the TV is on they spend more time asking questions about it than watching.

I couldn’t tell you how my children’s learning measures up to others, nor do we as parents care. We see them learning and being passionate about learning, and that’s all that matters. We know many bilingual and trilingual children, accomplished soccer players & musicians, and that I am happy about as well. I am happy for any child who excels in what they enjoy regardless of how it is achieved. One thing I have realized about deschooling your adult self, is how much evaluations and grades simply don’t matter anymore (also masquerading as societal judgement & self-doubt). My child is never going to measure the same as another, because we are all different, and differences are to be celebrated.

Will our children always be homelearners? YES! Regardless if they attend school or not, I am confident as a parent that I can always offer them enrichment and keep their love of new experiences and inspiration alive. I realize now as an adult, that is just what my parents offered me, even though they had no idea that is what they were doing. Moreover, my children will always keep inspiring me and push me to keep learning and evolving. They truly are a precious gift to my own personal growth. I will always be, deschooling myself. ;)

We travel a lot…which the girls enjoy. However, as most parents can relate, it is hard to find healthy fast food. We’ve found that my girls are huge sushi fans – so a California/avocado/cucumber (etc.) maki roll – hold the soy sauce – is a wonderful alternative. Most malls seem to sell sushi these days. Sure it may not be the finest sushi in town but for our girls it is perfect…we are just relieved that they not only eat it, but prefer it over the typical fast food choice.







I thought I would post this because, Although my girls have had maki sushi on numerous occasions, it was only recently that it occurred to us to offer it as a meal while we are traveling. Maybe there is an alternative food choice other parents have never considered, and this will help inspire alternative meal choices while on the go. :)

By the way, this is what we were buying at the mall:





This is more Rick’s new gadget than mine – but I will post a review on it soon. We’ll give it a thorough test drive on our next road trip.

“It was this day, 3 years ago, that the Heavenly Child was born to those people whom she recognized – her parents. They named her Sophie, & that is why we celebrate today, Sophie’s birthday.”
- Me, telling my rendition of the Beyond the Rainbow Bridge Birthday Story



We have been honouring Sophie’s 3rd birthday all week.

On the actual day, we spent a lovely quiet day home as a family. This was after careful contemplation, considering what we wanted for Sophie to get out of her special day, what she likes to do and her temperament. Last year we had a huge party with friends & family in Nova Scotia…but that was more for us – the grown ups – than for her. Now that she has a greater awareness of what a birthday is, we chose not to have a party or to travel. Originally we were going to go to a Fiber Festival in New York; instead we opted to do one later in the season in Vermont. That way we could stay home & let her soak in her day.



Party girls. :) Sophie was very proud & took in the day almost stoically. She really reminded me of her grandmother (my late mother) – very pleased with the preparations but very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. Just soaked it all up with a quiet fortitude.



The birthday ring was waiting for her at the breakfast table.



Lighting the 3 candles, and blowing them out. :)







Gluten free pancakes with fresh blueberries for breakfast – a favourite by both the girls. What are they like? Taste pretty much like the traditional ones. :)



Cake makers. My two lovely assistants. :)





Sharing a “meal” while the cake bakes.



Time to decorate!



To decorate the cake, we used blueberries & chocolate chips. I started by placing them round the top & bottom to give her an example to follow. Sophie then took over.



Hmmmm….careful, detailed & deliberate. That is Sophie! :)





Posing with her masterpiece. :)

Sophie asked that we put candles in her cake as well…so candle blow out, part two… :)







Pass the cake!

The most memorable moment for me was bedtime. You see I was trying to find just the right time during the day to tell the Beyond the Rainbow Bridge birthday story. To paraphrase, it is the story about how one day a heavenly child notices earth & wants to live there, and so chooses her future parents. Then one day when they are ready, the heavenly child & her angel travel across the rainbow bridge, down the spiral staircase & through the gates to be born to those familiar people & that is why the day is celebrated in her honor. You can see different versions of this story in Barbara Patterson’s Beyond the Rainbow Bridge. It is not a story meant to be read to your child but to be adapted & told in your own words…

So, at bed time, we sang our usual “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”. Ava went to sleep almost immediately. I had told Sophie earlier that we would be telling a special story, but she did not seem to be interested – in fact she downright rejected the idea once I put her in bed. So as I kissed her goodnight & got up to leave, I heard her little voice whisper to me, “I want to hear story”. So I crawled into bed with her, & told her…

Her reaction, was not what I expected, at all. I thought she would enjoy the story, but – she hung onto my every word. At the end, she wiped tears from her eyes & flung her arms around me in a big hug. We held each other for sometime crying sentimental tears together. It is such a powerful reminder, that we cannot under estimate what our young children understand, or the depth of their own spirituality.

It was indeed, the perfect day. Happy Birthday, dear Sophie. Welcome to year 3!

Considering we spent Christmas back with extended family in Nova Scotia this year, this should be my favourite memory right? Or Sophie’s first actual Christmas that she could participate in?

Well, my favourite moment this Christmas actually took place several days before: at an Irving Big Stop.

A truck stop??? Yes. A truck stop.

The Christmas holiday season leaves me feeling very detached. Black Friday shopping frenzies…trampled to death employee…people thoughtlessly and guiltily throwing money at people fundraising not even giving it a second thought at what or why they are supporting, nor care (By the way, Cure for Breast Cancer Corporation…you have a whole month…it’s called October. Really, for Christmas could you please remove yourselves from the mall so that people looking for money to help people with immediate needs – like food for the holidays – and not to pay the 7 figure salaries of your executives could get a fair shake…thanks). The holidays is such a whirlwind of shopping & frenzy that it’s over before you even know what happened. It makes me feel so detached from society and ask, what is the point?

So driving the 14 hours to Nova Scotia left me with a lot of time to think, contemplate and try to get back into the head space where I believe in the goodness of humankind, and in the simple things in life. Stopping for a bite to eat the first evening, I got the pick me up I needed.

We have stopped at Irving rest stops many times. Sure, Irving is another big corporation that Maritimers have a love/hate relationship with. But you can’t deny that at least the meals on the road taste fairly home-cooked compared to that so-called food served up by that “restaurant” with the golden arches. Normally, the mood is low key…lots of truckers and travellers shovelling down their food; their goal to get in, get out and get back on the road again…

This evening however, I was taken aback by the positive mood when we walked into the restaurant. The air was absolutely electric. People actually looked up from their meals, to give you a smile or even with no gesture at all, just a transfer of energy. You could tell everyone was in high spirits. Even though this is a busy travel time, no one seemed to be in a hurry to get going. Just a relaxed, happy atmosphere that everyone seemed to be willing to bask in for this short period of time. A room full of complete strangers absolutely connected just by sharing their own good will and intentions through their energy. There was a cranky toddler at one end of the restaurant, but no one paid any mind (you usually see at least one person annoyed by the incessant crying). In fact I witnessed a lot of sympathetic smiles in the direction of the young tot.

After the hour we spent there, I felt immediately renewed, my faith restored in the simple things in life. I sat back in the van & enjoyed the passing Christmas lights that bounced off the pure white snow. Rick & I both remarked what a pleasant drive it was when we reached the hotel that night.

My Facebook pal, Sarah Smith shared this passage. I read it just before we left, and it was just what I needed to start the renewal I so needed. I share it with you now in case it fills you with the strength that I so needed right before the holidays:

Materialists & Spiritualists

“All those materialists who have never done anything to make their inner world habitable think only of amusing themselves in the outer world. As soon as they find themselves in their own company they’re bored; it’s inner poverty. Spiritualists, on the other hand, know how to make their inner world so orderly and beautiful it lacks nothing: poetry, colours, music… everything that’s beautiful is there, and they suffer when they are forced to ‘go out’ and leave this beauty behind. So now, think about it… How much time do you spend with others? A few minutes, a few hours. And how much time do you spend with yourself? All the time, day and night. Well, don’t you think it’s much more important to improve the place you never go out of? Why do you allow your inner space to get so run down, like a hovel, or like an attic where the windows are broken, where spiders are walking across the ceiling and the mice are having a great time.”

~ Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov

Namaste all, & Happy New Year. Thank you Sarah, for reminding me why I am the way I am…

It’s a Sunday evening, & my mother has been dead for two weeks, 1 day. I can’t believe that time has seemly sped up again. From the time I officially heard from my dad she passed, ’til the time we left to come back to Montréal, time seemed to stand still. What would feel like hours would only be minutes. Now time seems to be back at that steady where-did-the-week-go pace as we slowly fall into life’s normal routine again.

I look at the pile of envelopes on the floor. About 10 first class air mail envelopes, all addressed all over the world, but mostly going to family in the Philippines. I can’t help but think this is where it all began, some 36+ years ago. A letter in an envelope just like this starting the friendship & then the romance that would become my parent’s marriage after three years of correspondence across the world. Now, these letters sit here with the terrible news that she is no longer with us in body. I found this handful of addresses from relatives and it is the only way we can get word to them. I hate that it has taken me two weeks to sit down and write them. When my grandmother died in 2003, my mother got the news 6 weeks after her passing. It appears that this will be the same timing.

I am also filled with hope that this correspondence will help me get to know the family I do not know. I am lucky to be surrounded by the support of family on my father’s side but I have always had a longing to know the other side.

It has been a touch & go weekend for me emotionally. It doesn’t help that it has rained every Saturday since my mother’s passing. It is the little things that draw me to sadness. Like seeing her favourite treats at the Asian grocery store or hearing her favourite hymn at Mass today. Yet, I dream of her & that is very comforting. She is already sending me messages that way. But sometimes I wake from dreams and think, it was just a dream right? She is still here…

Yet, she is still here. I merely have to ask for her guidance, and I get it. The process, continues…

As Long As you Remember Me

As long as you remember me,
my memory will live on.
My spirit will be there with you
at every breaking dawn.
I’ll sing to you through birds in spring
and whisper through the trees,
I’ll bring you gentle comfort
with a warm, caressing breeze.
As long as you remember me,
my love will fill your heart
and help to ease the sorrow
that you feel while we’re apart.
With thoughts of me,
perhaps you’ll see the wonder of each day,
the joy of sunlit afternoons,
and nature’s grand display.
As long as you remember me,
I always will be near
to lend you sweet tranquility
as night time stars appear.
The bond that we have shared will be
a link from me to you
to give you hope for brighter days
and strength to see you through.

Catalina Satentes Gador Cleveland
December 24, 1953- October 25, 2008

(This poem was included on a In Memory bookmark by one of her friends at church. I am not sure of the author, I am assuming her friend penned it. It is beautiful, regardless).



Catalina Gador “Lynn” Cleveland, age 54, Windsor, passed away on Saturday, October 25th, 2008, at the Hants Community Hospital, Windsor.
Born on December 24th, 1953, in Leyte, Phillipines, she was the daughter of the late Eutguiano and Crispina Gador.

Lynn had studied in Manila Institution of Technology, was a Telegraphist, and had attended Teachers College, all in the Phillipines. She was a member of St. John the Evangelist Church, Windsor, a member of the Catholic Womens League, and was an avid worker and supporter of the church. Lynn immigrated to Canada with her husband, in September 1976. She was a stay at home mother, a very devoted wife, mother and grandmother and will be sadly missed by her family and friends.

She is survived by her husband of 33 years, Jerone Elwood Cleveland; daughter, Leilani (Rick) Deveau, Montreal; sons, Lyndon Cleveland and Adrian Cleveland, both at home; granddaughter, Sophie Deveau; sister, Edna Gador, Phillipines; brother, Gabriel, Manila, Phillipines.

Besides her parents, Eutquiano and Crispina Gador; she was predeceased by sister, VicVic.

Visitation will be held 7-9 p.m. Monday, October 27th,; also, 2-4 and 7-9 p.m. Tuesday, October 28th, in Lindsay’s Windsor Funeral Home, 194 King Street, Windsor.

Funeral Mass will be held at 10 a.m. Wednesday, October 29th, 2008, in St. John the Evangelist Roman Catholic Church, 339 King Street, Windsor, with the Rev. Father Michael J. Walsh officiating. Interment will be in the St. John’s Roman Catholic Cemetery, Wiley Ave., Windsor.

Family flowers only,

donations in memory of Lynn may be made to:

St. John the Evangelist Roman Catholic Church

(Heating System Fund)

Now that we seem to have our rhythm down pat again, I wanted to post it here as a reminder to myself to keep it up and to perhaps help others plan their day.

I admit it is rather boring since my daughter is really young: once she is older I really want to schedule more nature/outdoor time.

I’m also going to put notes in there about sleep techniques that are working for us. Sophie is now sleeping 11 hours at night and I don’t remember the last time I had to get up in the middle of the night (except to pee! Hee!).

6am: we get up. Sophie starts to fuss and she greets me with a “Hi!” and a kiss on the cheek when I pick her up. Great way to start the day, esp. since I am so not a morning person!

6:10am-6:40am: after a bathroom pit stop Sophie has her milk, and then has potty time. I also take this time to get dressed, brush my teeth, etc.

6:40am-7:30+am: Independent play for Sophie in the play den, I check my messages & do a bit of work. I am currently designing my website in order to sell my jewelry online.

7:30+am: Sophie goes down for a nap between 7:30am and 8am, until 9am. I will also return to bed to nap at this time if I feel unrested. Otherwise, I do a bit more work on the computer.

9am: Sophie gets up, bath time & breakfast (Daddy makes breakfast). We do our bath in the morning as we found baths in the evening ramped her up rather than relaxed her.

10am: This varies. Sometimes we go for a walk, or run errands at this time, or Sophie & I start housework on the designated room/area for the day

11:15am: If we are home, Sophie has more milk, and then naps

1pm: Sophie gets up from her nap. Lunch time! Daddy makes lunch.

1:45pm: Usually independent play while I either do more work on the computer or finish up a chore. If we are out we make sure to get home around this time to Sophie can get down for a nap and be finished by 3pm. This is because when she sleeps later than 3, it may cause her to not get to sleep at bedtime, or sleep well through the night. If she had her 11am nap we may run errands at this time rather than in the morning.

2pm-3pm: If Sophie is napping at this time, I may take a nap, but usually this is more “me” time to catch up on my online groups, blog post, research for the website. I may sneak in an easy chore that is easier achieved while not having a baby around: dusting breakables, switching the laundry over, etc.

3pm-5pm: The afternoon is pretty open. Sophie & I finish the chores for the day, maybe spend sometime outside, let Sophie explore the now clean room/area of the house. She has a snack usually around 3:30. Sometimes if Rick wants a break we’ll take a quick trip to the post office or something.

5pm: Daddy makes supper, while Mommy & Sophie hang out in the livingroom. I usually take this time to have one-on-one tickle-the-baby time. :) Mommy also chats with Daddy while he cooks since our house is open concept. Ah, adult interaction. :) I can’t wait until she is older so the whole family can help out in the kitchen.

6pm: Dinner is finished. Sophie goes to the potty, then plays in her playroom while Mommy takes time to read in the room with her. Daddy does the dishes.

6:45pm: time to get ready for bed.

6:50pm: retreat to the calm of the bedroom, where Sophie has her milk, and I rock her for 5 min. afterward, which is just what she needs to get drowsy. Then, as I put her in her bed I tell her, “OK Sophie, Mommy is putting you in your bed now. It’s sleepy time. I’ll be right here if you need me”. I find if I don’t say this, she’ll wake up screaming 15 min. later.

7:10pm – 10+pm: ME TIME! This varies, I may fart around on the internet, do some work (design) if I feel inspired, read a book, watch some TV, spend some time with Rick…most nights it’s a little bit of all this.

I didn’t add all the pee potty time throughout the day, but it’s always after every nap, about 20-25min after liquids & every time I have to pee (which these days, is quite often). Hopefully she will start signing again soon so I won’t have to rely solely on timing, but this method seems to work the majority of the time.

As you can see, I have a lot of flexibility with this schedule, but this is the general flow that works for me. Some people’s rhythms are more structured than mine, again, it’s all about personality & what works for each person. I have a lot of leeway with this schedule as well. For example, I am sure to plan one cleaning day as easy, (Monday starts off with the room with least traffic), the next heavier, and I stagger accordingly. This way, if I miss a cleaning day due to appointments or an outing I can easily make up for it the following day. Or, if I feel inspired to double up on the cleaning one day, in order to get ahead.

I’m also flexible as to when I do what during computer time. Some days, I feel the need to write (blog) to get going. Today is a good example of that. I tend to start posts as I think of topics but not necessarily post them until I have the time to go through to proofread or finish them. Today I had a back log, so I decided to take part of the day to work on that to help get the juices flowing so to speak. Hence, all the posts today! I am going to do work tonight, because I am more inspired to do work now than I was earlier today. Besides, Rick is also working tonight, since he mowed the lawn this afternoon. Flex hours definitely suit both our personalities.

It is a lot of trial and error and I am still tweaking this one. Rhythms are always evolving, especially with growing children.

As an addition to my original post, I wanted to also mention:

Find a tool of the trade that make your life easier.

In regards to cleaning, I am all for all natural disinfectants and not their chemical counterparts. What I am referring to is what tool could be changed that you now find cumbersome?

For me, it was vacuuming. It was loud, heavy & awkward, and could not be done when the baby was in the room, lest I want her to be deaf. I had to wait for Rick to have time on the weekend to vacuum, and with three cats, this simply wasn’t working. So I went out to find one of those people-powered push brooms for vacuuming my rugs. We have hardwood & ceramic throughout our house, so I needed something lightweight and quiet. I am all for living naturally, but we also live in a technological age. I so do not have the time to get on my hands & knees to scrub the floor by hand. Nor, would I want to! So I found the prefect tool. It is a Shark push broom, and this one actually has a small motor in it to help pick up the dirt. Even better, it was on sale half price at Canadian Tire: $20! I can’t say enough about this. I may have to go over the rug twice, but it does a fine job picking up all the dirt and hair, and it is so lightweight (and quiet) I can push it with one hand while having the baby on the other hip.

I wasn’t in the market for this, but when it saw it marked down to $30 from $69 I couldn’t resist. It is a Bissel vacuum mop, with a microfiber pad. I had been sweeping the floor and then dry mopping with a microfiber mop. It could not believe the extra dust & hair the microfiber mop will pick up after sweeping. This new gadget does both at the same time, cutting my floor cleaning time in half, and giving me more time to do things I enjoy, like, well, blog posting. :)

I find having a good cleaning rhythm means all the other parts of your life falls into place.

My original post on the topic here:

Finding My Rhythm Again

You know, what I love about keeping a blog is the whole progression of the thought process. Remember how this site started out: as a way to keep friends & family up to date on our wedding plans. Now it has evolved as a online database, where I keep events & information for future reference for our family. Then it has evolved once again, to a place when I am feeling blocked or uninspired in other areas of my life to kick start my thought process, and as a form of self-expression.

Take the last post for example ( Babies Are Inspiring ). When I first thought of writing it, it was solely for recording the fact that Sophie is learning to walk and play her xylophone. Then as I wrote, it evolved into a great example of how children learn organically: just the type of validation that lets you know you are on the right path in your way of thinking/parenting.

I am also pleasantly surprised by your emails, that people are inspired by my thoughts even though we are all in different places in our lives. It’s not about being the same, but about living authentically. I am glad that my thought process has helped others.

So if you don’t have a writing outlet like a blog, I encourage you to get one. Don’t do a lot of thinking, just let the information flow from your head to your fingertips. It truly is a form of meditation for me. Facebook is all well & fine to connect with people, but if you really want your personality to shine, a blog is the only way to go… :)

Oh, and if you are not a writer you can always keep a picture blog. ;)

I caught a bit of a show once where the “expert” was giving “advice” to parents on how to encourage your baby to roll over and to crawl. She was taking a doll, and placing the doll’s limbs in a crawling position.

WHAT??? The gentle parent in me was wondering what she was on.

Last time I checked, babies crawl…because they do…when they are READY. Just like everything else. Sure, I agree with putting newborns in different positions so they aren’t laying on their back all day & to build their head muscles (better yet, wear your baby. Because I carried Sophie in a sling she had amazing control of her head, I never found it important to schedule tummy time for her, and at her two week appt. the nurse was amazed at how high she could raise her head. “You must give her lots of tummy time” Um, yeah….)

I often wonder in this society, what is the hurry anyway? Babies grow so fast…the next thing you know you have gray hair & they’re out the door for college. Sure, knowing milestones is important, if you child is lagging behind severely developmentally. But I am appalled at some of the advice out there, about what your child should do and when. From a holistic standpoint, every human being is different. When you get treated holistically, your treatment is based on the assessment of you, the person, not you, statistically in society. The truth is every baby is different, will learn different things at different times, and if we let them do this with patience & respect they will grow their confidence & self-esteem as well. There is so much fear mongering pointed at parents who just want the best for their child. Every so often, I will look things up on the internet just to see what’s out there, and it pretty much makes me want to run screaming. And the labels don’t even get me started on the labels. Is it possible that a child diagnosed with ADD may have a high energy temperament & just be spirited? Or have a food allergy? Or doesn’t learn well in a classroom setting? These options must be considered as well, not just, here is some ritalin, now conform…but I am digressing here…

Take for instance, Sophie’s teeth have not come through yet. She is practically a year old, but has been teething since she was 3 months! Drooling, biting, irritability for months & months (common characteristic in late break through teethers, actually).”She should be eating finger foods by now!” The peanut gallery says. Yeah, and I do that how when she has no teeth? “Take her in for an X-Ray”? To have the dentist tell me what, that her teeth aren’t through yet? No shit Sherlock, thanks for irradiating my baby for no reason. I am pleased to say that many dentists confirm the longer teeth are in the gums the healthier they will be out of the gums. You can feel the bumps in her mouth, so they are definitely there. Besides, since I believe in long term nursing, I was in no hurray for her teeth to come in, thank you very much.

I just don’t buy into this culture of fear in our society. For new parents, Rick & I are really laid back, and I know for a fact it makes some people nervous! But why worry? It does no one any good, it just gives you health problems. She is obviously healthy. We parent through common sense & intuition, not by statistics and keeping up with the Joneses’ kid. Sophie rolled over when she was ready. She crawled when she was ready. She stood up on her own, when she was ready. Just two weeks ago, I witnessed her walk across the floor of her room with the assistance of her walker wagon. I was amazed. How did she know to just, stand up and do that? Then I was like, “Do it again so Mommy can get it on video!”. I stood her up by it, tried to coax her to walk, but she was obviously flustered now. Just a prime example how learning is so not fun when you have to perform under pressure.

Oooh, I could so tie this into earth schooling & why we prefer our children to learn in a natural environment rather than a classroom one…

The other thing I find amazing, is the same day, she grabbed her xylophone out of the toy box, picked up a mallet and started playing it. Ok yes, playing it by means of banging on it there was no Mozart or anything being made here. We never showed her how to do this directly…probably indirectly. I know I like to bang on it once in a blue moon and try to remember tunes from when I was a child (Doe, a deer, a female deer…). Those times Sophie promptly comes over, grabs the mallet & throws it. LOL! But she never attempted to play it herself, nor did she seem to show any knowledge of how to do this up until a couple of weeks ago. This wooden toy is not even recommended for her age. We put it in her toy box when she was about 7 months and knew she’d play with it someday, when she was ready.

These examples show the importance of independent play, without a lot of distraction, so babies (and ultimately children) can naturally learn. They do learn by mimicking us (like the xylophone, or even how I will sit on the toilet & she will then go in her potty). But we don’t have to force it. No holding up flash cards and insisting they memorize it. No Baby Einstein DVDs that ultimately ruin their attention span. Just simple, down to earth, play.

We can learn so much from babies. They teach us the joy in the simplistic, to triumph all our achievements no matter how small and slow down to enjoy the small things in life.

So I don’t really feel crappy. It was just an appropriate mood for a post all about EC…

EC: Elimination Communication, also known as Infant Potty Training or Natural Infant Hygiene, has been part of our baby journey from the day Sophie was born. From the age of birth – 3 month, we practiced EC on a strictly part time basis…a little nakey bum time…but we really didn’t get into it “hard core” until she was 3+ months old. That’s when we introduced a potty at the times of day we knew she would go to the bathroom (that’s where the nakey bum observations came in handy. Through this observation we could make an educated guess as to when she would need to go, sit her on the pot, make a cue sound “shhhhh…” and she would go).

Things were going so great. Potty time increased exponentially, we were saving a small fortune on disposable diapers, and time on laundering the cloth ones. We even bought a Potette and started potty-ing on the go. My mother witnessed Sophie going to the pot in our hotel room when we were in Québec City. She began to sign and/or fuss when she needed to go. The communication between us three was marvelous.

Then somewhere around 9 and a half months, it stopped. It was a combination of, her sleeping habits being disrupted, milestones (learning to crawl/stand up & explore & not caring to stop to use the potty), & changes in my health that affected my nursing her, including digestion issues/constipation. She stopped signing. She stopped fussing. I could always rely on her taking off her diaper when it was soiled, if I happened to miss one. This comforted me because it meant she didn’t like the feel of dirty diaper against her skin. However now, she kept right on playing and crapped in her diaper; I would be none the wiser except for the smell.

“Ok”, I thought, “No big deal. Potty pauses are to be expected, esp. at milestones”. Truthfully, at this time I was exhausted, and after dealing with severe constipation, I was just happy she was pooping, I wasn’t going to complain about changing shitty diapers. I was happy to diaper her as I just didn’t have the brain cells at this time to be alert enough to watch for signs when she was bare bummed. I offered the potty when I could, tried to keep up with timing since she had stopped telling me, but I always seemed to just miss it.

So after we got the sleep & digestion issues sorted away, which was around mid-August, I was ready to take EC from part time to full time again. I kept observation even though she was going in her diaper for the most part. I knew that she poo’d in the morning after her milk, and again after dinner before bed. I set a goal to catch the poops, since those were the most disgusting to clean up after. Pipi would be the icing on the cake.

The first day, things went marvelously. “Just like riding a bike,” I thought, “you never forget.” We even went out to run errands that day, and she peed in her potette whilst in the van. Horray!

I was, however, celebrating far too soon. Slowly, gradually, Sophie became adverse to the pot. I would put her on, and she would fuss to get off, only to pee in her diaper minutes later. In the morning I would sit her on the pot for the morning poo, and after 20 minutes, would take her off, put her in the play den to play, and she would poo minutes later. She seemed only interested to sit and play/”read” books on the potty, not actually do her business.

So a couple of days ago, after dwindling down to catching 2 pees a day and no poos in the pot I was discouraged. “I’m a failure!” I lamented. “I wasn’t consistent, and now she lost all her potty skills! I suck!”

Not one to wallow in my own, er- crap for very long, I decided to get real. It’s time to make EC a priority in our home again. Radical measures were called for.

So yesterday, while out running errands, I picked up another two potties to stash around the house. That way, there was always a potty near by to stick her on. That afternoon, after her nap, we went into her room to play (the room right now is a play room/den since she still sleep in our room). I removed her diaper, and…anything cloth or hard to clean from the floor. We have hardwood, so any accidents would really make no difference to me. I sat her on the pot so she would know it was there. She didn’t want to sit long (I thought maybe she would like to scoot across the floor on it as she did before our potty strike, but she was not interested) & off she was to play.

Armed with one new potty & a roll of paper towels, I waited. After a few minutes, I relaxed and started to read my book. I kept one eye on her, as usual. She sat on the floor, playing with her blocks, talking away. I looked down again and realized she was SITTING IN THE BIGGEST PUDDLE I HAVE EVER SEEN – it was so big, I thought for a moment perhaps we had a leak somewhere. No. The only leak we sprung was from our baby! She was talking and playing and running her blocks through it. I had left her baby legs on and those were soaked, along with her shirt, it was on the long side…

So after briefly sitting her on the potty & making the cue sound, a shorter shirt, completely bare legs & a large wad of paper towels, she toddled off to play again.

About ten minutes later, she pulled herself up and stood by the couch to “talk” to me: babbling, showing me her block…I smiled and talked back to her…and as she was in mid-babble, I…*sniff sniff*…smelled something…at the same time, Sophie reached down to touch something…

I immediately leap into action, picking up the baby and plunking her on the potty before she had a chance to make a mud pie out of the turd that was now on my hardwood floors.

“HA! Caught you, elusive poo…” I was thinking. Even though I missed one turd, surely there was more to come…

But nope. Small poo, and it was all on my floor. “At least it’s easy to clean up,” I muttered.

Back to playing, and reading my book. Yet another ten minutes later, Sophie was back by the couch, talking to me again. Then I hear, well, a running water sound…

…Hurriedly pick up the baby again, and plunk her on the pot, a trail or pee following us. This time, I caught some of it in the potty. “Well,” I sighed, “I guess that counts for something”.

Rick emerged from his downstairs office ready to make supper. I told him our potty – or – lack of potty adventure. “Do I give up?” I said to him, half exasperated.

But today was a new day. I started the day realizing that I learned a lot from yesterday’s experience, and I was ready to get creative today. So after Sophie had her milk, I plunked her on the pot, her books, comb and toilet paper roll (she loves those) at her side. I decided to sit on the toilet at the same time. There is something to be said about tandem elimination. You know how one person will have to go and then everyone else in the house will develop the urge too? Well, success! “Woo! MOMMY 1, POOPY 0!” I yelled out to Rick. I stood Sophie up and had her do a victory potty dance. It was too early in the morning. She just looked at me like, “what are you doing?” Still, there was no denying she was happy that I was happy.

The rest of the day seemed to go smoothly. I was elated to find a dry diaper before I sat her on the pot. Every time I had to go, I sat her on her pot as well. And, even if I didn’t have to go, I sat on the toilet while she was on the pot. I was ELATED at how well this worked.

I think it was also comforting to always have a potty near by. We used the one in the livingroom once today, after a tiny pee hit the floor. I think having them around gives me more confidence to let her go bare bummed again, since the potty is right there. Today definitely restored my confidence, which I so needed.

So after supper, I knew this was another prime time for the elusive poo to make an appearance. So I sat her on the pot, and I sat on the toilet, even though I didn’t have to go. After 15 min., she started to fuss to get off. “Oh well,” I thought, “you can’t expect to catch them all right away…” Then Rick heard me yell, “OH YEAH! Mommy 2, POOPY…ZERO!!!” ;) I stood Sophie up to do the potty victory dance. This time, she was smiling.