I caught a bit of a show once where the “expert” was giving “advice” to parents on how to encourage your baby to roll over and to crawl. She was taking a doll, and placing the doll’s limbs in a crawling position.

WHAT??? The gentle parent in me was wondering what she was on.

Last time I checked, babies crawl…because they do…when they are READY. Just like everything else. Sure, I agree with putting newborns in different positions so they aren’t laying on their back all day & to build their head muscles (better yet, wear your baby. Because I carried Sophie in a sling she had amazing control of her head, I never found it important to schedule tummy time for her, and at her two week appt. the nurse was amazed at how high she could raise her head. “You must give her lots of tummy time” Um, yeah….)

I often wonder in this society, what is the hurry anyway? Babies grow so fast…the next thing you know you have gray hair & they’re out the door for college. Sure, knowing milestones is important, if you child is lagging behind severely developmentally. But I am appalled at some of the advice out there, about what your child should do and when. From a holistic standpoint, every human being is different. When you get treated holistically, your treatment is based on the assessment of you, the person, not you, statistically in society. The truth is every baby is different, will learn different things at different times, and if we let them do this with patience & respect they will grow their confidence & self-esteem as well. There is so much fear mongering pointed at parents who just want the best for their child. Every so often, I will look things up on the internet just to see what’s out there, and it pretty much makes me want to run screaming. And the labels don’t even get me started on the labels. Is it possible that a child diagnosed with ADD may have a high energy temperament & just be spirited? Or have a food allergy? Or doesn’t learn well in a classroom setting? These options must be considered as well, not just, here is some ritalin, now conform…but I am digressing here…

Take for instance, Sophie’s teeth have not come through yet. She is practically a year old, but has been teething since she was 3 months! Drooling, biting, irritability for months & months (common characteristic in late break through teethers, actually).”She should be eating finger foods by now!” The peanut gallery says. Yeah, and I do that how when she has no teeth? “Take her in for an X-Ray”? To have the dentist tell me what, that her teeth aren’t through yet? No shit Sherlock, thanks for irradiating my baby for no reason. I am pleased to say that many dentists confirm the longer teeth are in the gums the healthier they will be out of the gums. You can feel the bumps in her mouth, so they are definitely there. Besides, since I believe in long term nursing, I was in no hurray for her teeth to come in, thank you very much.

I just don’t buy into this culture of fear in our society. For new parents, Rick & I are really laid back, and I know for a fact it makes some people nervous! But why worry? It does no one any good, it just gives you health problems. She is obviously healthy. We parent through common sense & intuition, not by statistics and keeping up with the Joneses’ kid. Sophie rolled over when she was ready. She crawled when she was ready. She stood up on her own, when she was ready. Just two weeks ago, I witnessed her walk across the floor of her room with the assistance of her walker wagon. I was amazed. How did she know to just, stand up and do that? Then I was like, “Do it again so Mommy can get it on video!”. I stood her up by it, tried to coax her to walk, but she was obviously flustered now. Just a prime example how learning is so not fun when you have to perform under pressure.

Oooh, I could so tie this into earth schooling & why we prefer our children to learn in a natural environment rather than a classroom one…

The other thing I find amazing, is the same day, she grabbed her xylophone out of the toy box, picked up a mallet and started playing it. Ok yes, playing it by means of banging on it there was no Mozart or anything being made here. We never showed her how to do this directly…probably indirectly. I know I like to bang on it once in a blue moon and try to remember tunes from when I was a child (Doe, a deer, a female deer…). Those times Sophie promptly comes over, grabs the mallet & throws it. LOL! But she never attempted to play it herself, nor did she seem to show any knowledge of how to do this up until a couple of weeks ago. This wooden toy is not even recommended for her age. We put it in her toy box when she was about 7 months and knew she’d play with it someday, when she was ready.

These examples show the importance of independent play, without a lot of distraction, so babies (and ultimately children) can naturally learn. They do learn by mimicking us (like the xylophone, or even how I will sit on the toilet & she will then go in her potty). But we don’t have to force it. No holding up flash cards and insisting they memorize it. No Baby Einstein DVDs that ultimately ruin their attention span. Just simple, down to earth, play.

We can learn so much from babies. They teach us the joy in the simplistic, to triumph all our achievements no matter how small and slow down to enjoy the small things in life.