Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with his might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
for even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

~Kahlil Gibran
artist, poet, writer, philosopher and theologian
January 6, 1883 – April 10, 1931

What will
our children do in the morning?
Will they wake with their hearts wanting to play,
the way wings
should?

Will they have dreamed the needed flights and gathered
the strength from the planets that all men and women need to balance
the wonderful charms of
the earth

so that her power and beauty does not make us forget our own?

I know all about the ways of the heart – how it wants to be alive.

Love so needs to love
that it will endure almost anything, even abuse,
just to flicker for a moment. But the sky’s mouth is kind,
its song will never hurt you, for I
sing those words.

What will our children do in the morning
if they do not see us
fly?

~ Rumi ~ 13th Century Poet

Breastfeeding, Evolution, Safe Infant Sleep & Psychology
© Barb Hacker
June 15, 2008
From Suite101.com: http://ethics-parenting.suite101.com/article.cfm/reasons_not_to_sleep_train

Practicing cry-it-out sleep training methods with a baby may result in early weaning from the breast and can lead to post traumatic stress disorder.

Babies were meant to be nurtured to sleep, not forced to cry-it-out and trained to sleep on their own. Humans have been co-sleeping and breastfeeding on demand during sleep for millennia. Sleep training is a modern notion that can result in early weaning and can be psychologically damaging to infants.
What is Sleep Training?

Sleep training generally refers to a method of teaching infants to fall asleep on their own, in their own room, with no parental help. Many families that practice sleep training resort to the cry-it-out method, which means that the baby is left alone in a crib to cry until he falls asleep. Supposedly, each night, he cries a little less than the night before until he is finally sleeping on his own with minimal crying.

Proponents of sleep training claim that both mother and baby will sleep better and longer at night. They insist that babies should be sleeping through the night and sleep training is the way to achieve that goal.
Breastfeeding on Demand Rules Out Sleep Training

Sleep training is not for mothers who breastfeed on demand. Many breastfeeding mothers choose to let the baby nurse as often and for as long as he wants. Trying to regulate nursing with a set schedule to have uninterrupted sleep at night may result in engorgement, breast infections and eventually, decreased milk production. This can lead to early weaning.
Human Evolution Points to Co-sleeping

Sleep training when the infant is asleep alone in a crib in another room is not in line with how humans have evolved. Human babies have spent thousands of years sleeping next to their mothers. There, they have ready access to the breast, are warm and are safe. Before families lived in houses and other permanent dwellings, an infant sleeping alone was vulnerable to predators, freezing temperatures and other hazards.

Of course, modern babies are not vulnerable to the same risks that our ancestors were. Still, babies have evolved to be nurtured in a certain way and, one could argue, they are still hard-wired to be nurtured in that same way, despite current sleep training practices.
Sleep Training Raises Safety Concerns

As reported on the Dr. Sears website in “The Scientific Benefits of Co-sleeping”, worldwide research has shown that babies who sleep with their mothers are less vulnerable to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Mothers who co-sleep with their infants are very aware of their infants nighttime needs and are able to help regulate infant breathing by virtue of their proximity.

Even the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that young babies sleep in the same room as their parents. They have determined that the risk of SIDS is decreased when the infant sleeps in close proximity to the mother. Though they advise against co-sleeping, the AAP does recognize the increase in safety that occurs when an infant is in the same room as the mother.

Sleep training in which a baby is placed in a crib and left alone to cry-it-out is incompatible with both of these recommendations.
Sleep Training and Psychology

Babies who are trained to sleep through a cry-it-out method are taught that their needs are not important. They learn that no one is listening to them. According to researchers at Harvard University Medical School’s Department of Psychology, children and adults who were forced to cry-it-out as infants are more likely to suffer from emotional issues, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, than children and adults who were not forced to cry-it-out as babies.

It stands to reason that children who carry emotional baggage from having been trained to sleep as an infant would have more behavior problems than children who have been nurtured to sleep. Likewise, the parent/child relationship will suffer when a family practices sleep training. It is possible that the mother will feel detached from her child and vice versa.

Sleep training interferes with a breastfeeding relationship and, as evidenced by early humans, is not a natural parenting method. Babies who are trained to sleep away from their parents are more vulnerable to SIDS and are likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Sources:

Ask Dr. Sears website; “Sleep-training – Not for Breastfeeding Mothers” & “The Scientific Benefits of Co-sleeping”

Wright, Robin; “Go Ahead – Sleep with Your Kids: The Urge is Natural, Surrender to It”; Slate website; Originally published March 28, 1997; Re-published June 23, 2006.

Powell, Alvin; “Children Need Touching and Attention: Harvard Researchers Say”; The Harvard University Gazette; April 9, 1998.

American Academy of Pediatrics; Policy Statement; “The Changing Concept of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome”; Pediatrics, Vol. 116, No. 5; November 2005; page 1252.